Here’s the thing about calories: A calorie is a unit of heat.
It is not a unit of food. It’s not a unit of movement. It’s a unit of how much heat a food gives off when it is burned — not “used for energy by the body,” but literally BURNED.
Do you know how they determine the calorie content of food? They put the food in a capsule surrounded by water, run an electrical current through the food till it becomes ash, and then measure the change in temperature of the water. That’s exactly what happens in the digestive system, right?
Uh… no. Our bodies don’t set food on fire.